Why 2018 Is Not Going To Change Your Life
And three things you can do to at least try.
I do not intend to be a party pooper, but this whole “New Year” thing is, mainly and plainly, pure bullshit.
Excuse my manners.
Allow me to be more elegant:
«This whole “New Year” thing is an illusion».
But please, believe me, I’m not a New Year’s Grinch. In fact, I adore the New Year’s energy.
You could say I’m a fan.
But I see way too much fuss surrounding the fact that yesterday a new year got started.
Expectations and hopes are flying all over the place like a flock of disoriented birds!
Stay still for a moment. Really, what does a “new year” mean?
Repeat this question v e r y s l o w l y: «What does a “new year” mean?»
Does it mean you have a whole new set of beliefs? That all your definitions have magically changed? That all the stories, lies and illusions you’ve been holding on to for months, years and maybe decades, are gone now?
If that would be the case, does it mean now you have new stories, lies, and illusions?
Wouldn’t those be illusions nevertheless?
Our life isn’t going to change BECAUSE now is 2018.
Suck it up buttercup!
If you were longing for 2017 to end, and 2018 to start for things to be different, without you — the physical and non-physical versions included in the concept of «You» — being a massive, active-conscious-deliberate-intentional part of the equation, I’ll be the bitch who’s going to tell you it.is.not.going.to.happen.
We gotta take full responsibility for our creation.
And here are three things I’m doing to squeeze the juice out of this sucker; I mean, this year; Damn! I mean, out of this opportunity.
Three Approaches to a Happy New «Conscious» Year:
1. It’s all about feelings:
We all do what we do because we want to feel in a certain way. Period. There’s nothing we can deny about that.
We’re not chasing «the goal», but the feeling we believe that goal will bring to us.
So, it’s imperative to do the work to identify how do we genuinely want to feel. Which are our «core desired feelings» as Danielle LaPorte calls them, before setting any aims.
By having clarity first on how do we want to feel, we then can focus on doing whatever support that feeling, instead of focusing on the goals that our limited mind guesses will make us feel that way.
Does this make sense to you? It sure does to me!
Ask yourself what are the 3 to 5 feelings you intensely want to feel along the whole year.
What’s the general tone, the melody, the color you want for your life in 2018?
Are those feelings more zen, or are they hectic? A mix maybe?
Does the image of your year feel steady, or adventurous?
Looks like a gentle renaissance watercolor painting, or like a neon NY billboard?
As a Desire Map Certified Facilitator, I’ve seen many people rushing way too fast to come up with familiar words to name feelings, which aren’t always relevant and transcendental for them.
Most of their choices come from a place of comfort and tradition, instead of from a solid self-exploration.
Also, those words might come from a desire to compensate for what they don’t have. Or they could be connected with what they want to avoid, instead of what they want to experience.
And due to the lack of a rich vocabulary and life experience, most people choose safe and cognitively-known feelings as happy, abundant, confident, loved, free, etc.
Do yourself a favor: be mindful, profound, raw and straight in your selection. Oh, and to be a little zealous and exuberant won’t hurt ;-)
2. Expect less. Act more.
This invitation is a tricky one and it’s easy to misinterpret.
I’m not talking about not having dreams. Nor inviting people to be in a ceaseless do-mode until burning out.
The idea behind this concept is reducing or stopping — your choice — having expectations and insisting on how/when things oughta happen.
Furthermore, the point is to start acting from a space of genuine excitement, delight, and inner satisfaction.
Can you sense the difference? Don’t you feel like sighing, as a sign of relief?
Yes, most times you can (and should) have plans, metrics, strategies, and all the “logical stuff”.
But the energy from which you perform the individual actions involved can be one lightness, connection, and sacred presence.
3. Befriend Structures
Yup. You knew this was coming, right?
Structures are powerful tools. Should you choose to use them, of course!
Install just a few. Don’t overdo it.
But be strategic and keep in mind that one structure can serve double duty. Meaning that one structure can help you to move towards several goals at once, or facilitate different effects.
See, “playing” has proven to be an efficient way to call people’s attention, engage their focus, and promote action in sustainable and fun ways.
With that idea present, is that my hubby, my teenager son, and I are using “streaks” as a structure to play with.
Have you heard of Snapchat streaks?
If you haven’t, don’t worry. I didn’t know either until my 16 yo daughter introduced them to me last year.
A Snapchat streak is when you send direct snaps back and forth with a friend for several consecutive days. The longer you go without breaking the chain of communication, the longer your streak is. I have to admit it’s somewhat addictive.
Snapchat rewards longer streaks with emojis, such as the “100” emoji for streaks lasting 100 days, or a mountain emoji for an extremely long streak.
Starting a streak causes a psychological effect of continuity, and promotes repetition. Perfect to install a new habit!
Each one of us chose just three meaningful and enjoyable streaks for the whole year.
BTW, to keep track of our streaks, we’re testing an app called «Today». So far so good.
I’ll tell you about one of our streaks that serves double duty: Sunrise gazing.
Waking up at daybreak is rather easy for me. My biorhythm fully collaborates. Not the same for Leo, my husband.
But he wants to take better advantage of the day, and enjoy some of the benefits I’ve told him I get to experience when waking up at dawn, including a soulful writing experience — which is something he does amazingly but doesn’t have that much space/time to give himself to it.
So what we’re doing is to have something playful to look forward to when getting out of bed every day: to take a pic of the sunrise.
Then it’s about having the longest sunrise pictures streak we can have!
Hey! We don’t want to miss one day and break our chain, so we have to get out, and take that shot.. date stamp and all!
As with any practice, take these ones day at a time.
Start one day. And then door again the next day.
Maybe you want to share this post with a friend, so you can start playing together and support each other.
Just for today.
And every day of this illusory new year that just started.
